And you don't have to do it alone. . .
The sun is shining but not on me
Another lonely day
What's the use in making plans
When nothing's gonna go my way
But there's a voice deep down inside me telling me what to say
When you have a negative mindset or you've been knocked to the ground so many times, it is totally natural to feel as if there is no point in even trying anymore. Have you made plans that have fallen through? You had lofty visions about something that you thought would come to fruition but now serious doubts are starting to set in? What are the things that you are doing to ensure that you can make those plans come to life? It is ok for plans to change shape, for people to leave and for you to figure out some other support crew to help you in your journey. Why are things not going your way anymore? Did you not set yourself up to have accounted for any difficulties that you might encounter? It is always the things that you cannot control that seem to lead you astray. Of course, if that person is you, well, that's another story altogether. How can you stay motivated to realise the dreams in your head?
Don't you know that you can do anything
You can take anything and make it your own
Don't you know that you can do anything
And you don't have to do it alone
I don't know how many times I have told teachers and leaders in schools over the years.
If they want to foster self belief in students, they have to role model that first. It's the quickest way to ensure that students start to believe in themselves and their own abilities. I don't know how many times I've come across memories in my own mind that I've seen played out again in schools across the country. You would think that we have come so far, but nothing has really changed. Don't get me wrong, there are small pockets of teachers and leaders who are doing things well and doing their best for their students. But I can't get past the fact that for some students, they just need to be listened to, they need to be heard. I wonder how many teachers stay persistent, even when students say things to push them away, so that they stay true to the cause? I have learned equally from teachers who inadvertently taught me through their cruelty, how best to approach and navigate a pathway to success.
Searching for the girl I was
When I was sure and strong
When everything was easier
And I could do no wrong
If only I could believe in yourself
I know I could find a way
It is easy to lose confidence in your ability of when you start to question whether you can do anything anymore. Why do we do this to ourselves? We know we can be stuck in a rut, and instead of finding ways to get out of the predicament we find ourselves in, we make up excuses or we find ways to blame others for our situation. But that's the great thing about learning. If we are honest about who we are, we can really be self aware and be super critical and reflective about what we aren't doing to the best of our ability. The way to do this is to ignore any self doubt and not listen to any naysayers who are too scared to live their own dreams so they try to kill yours. I remember someone saying once - you're doing too much, there's no way you can complete all of the goals that you've set yourself. I also remember someone else saying, it's impossible, there's no way you can achieve that, even I can't do it. There is nothing worse in my mind than when people tell you that you can't achieve anything, because they don't see themselves completing it. If I was given a dollar for every time I've heard that in my life, I would have enough money to never work a day in my life.
Sorry tears in my eyes
Got me down in confusion and doubt
Suddenly I realize
I'm no different than anyone working it out
We're all working it out
There will be people in your life who have problems that are more dire than yours.
You might be going through something unbeknown to your best friend or a loved one. For whatever reasons that we hide the trauma in our lives or choose not to disclose what we're going through, there are other things that we can instead focus on. There will be times when people foist their problems onto you and expecting you to be a person to be made available to cope with everything, to solve all of their pre-existing issues that had nothing to do with you. When the tables are turned and you start to go through things of your own and you say nothing that entire time - they start to question whether they were able to help you at all, or they start to withdraw from you altogether. We cannot blame people when they do this. We are not all built the same, with the same ways of coping with situations, nor are we strong enough to take on or dispose of our friend's worries, no matter how hard we try. All we can do is let them know that we are there for them, even if we lack the words to say the right thing.
Don't you know that you can do anything
You can take anything and make it your own
Don't you know that you can do anything
And you don't have to do it alone
I hope that you know that you have gifts and talents that are uniquely yours. I love being around people, and there are times when I crave my solitude. When people expect you to be a certain someone for them, to play a role that they need in their own lives, take a step back and have a serious think about whether you want to play that role or not. Sometimes hard and honest conversations are difficult to have, but if you value people and respect them then make the time to have those discussions. If people try to harm you, have a think about why they want to do that. It says more about their mental state rather than your own. All you need to remember is that you can do anything you set your mind to. Prove those naysayers wrong. Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you've got this. If you need extra support to get you through the tough times in your life, find the right people who have your best interests at heart. Just know that there are always people out there who believe in you and wish you every success. Because they know that if you succeed, then they will succeed too. So smile, chin up, and know that you can do anything. . .