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Can't hold me. . .

In the night, in the middle of the day
I call you over but you always hesitate 
You used to tell me we should leave it up to fate
Now I know that I don't ever have to wait

It has been a long time between blog posts.  It is often hard to find yourself in the right frame of mind to write, even recreationally.  But today's blog post isn't for recreational purposes, but definitely, one that's needed for therapeutic purposes.  Have you met someone before who is seemingly all about the freedom of life, about making choices that have no consequences?  Or maybe they just conveniently forget how friendships or relationships are meant to play out?  If you have ever been in a relationship where you don't know where you stand or you just think - is this what I signed up for or not?  Why do people hesitate?  Why do people act?  Does fate decide when to ruin things or lead them to a natural conclusion?

Close my eyes let down my hair
I'm thinking about what I want's gonna take me there
Turn the dial on the stereo
I'm thinking about who I want and I won't let go

Do you ever get the chance to let down your hair?  You would like to think that you can be yourself and let your hair down, but sometimes when you do that - you let down your guard at the same time.  You know automatically about a situation even before you are told at the end of the night, what transpired beforehand.  You just have to smile at the recurring pattern though.  Why is it that unnecessary drama only occurs with the same culprits?  Why is it only when you let your hair down, that they decide to do and say things that are uncalled for?  Do and say things that have the power to ruin your faith in any possible relationship or connection, but more importantly, undermines the friendship that was meant to stand the test of time?

You can't hold me now, only I can do that
You can't hold me now, only I can do that
You can't hold me now, only I can do that
You can't hold me now, hold me now, ooh

When you have been betrayed, that should be good enough reason to not be held.  But what happens when you have continually ignored the behaviour of one near and dear?  When you try to talk yourself out of words and deeds that seem out of character, but seem to occur each time there is an audience of the opposite sex?  You lose count of the scenarios and situations that you have tried to push aside.  But there are too many memories aren't there?  You cannot begin to fathom the depths and the lengths, the toxicity that you didn't realise was festering until everything it touches tarnishes other things and other people in your life.  When they do not know or are unwilling to acknowledge it either - what motivates them to act in this way?

In a t-shirt, in my satin lingerie
A little lower, a little higher, change pace
Used to wait here but you'd always be too late
Now I can go there and I never have to fake

The realness and rawness of intimacy should be sensed in the way in which it is carried out.  There are no explanations or apologies necessary.  To rely on an apology to make it all go away, sometimes there is no going back, coming back, even backing up on anything that has eventuated.  You just need to step back and reassess what your priorities are.  You need to think about the fact that regardless of the change of pace, how low or how high things go, is it at the level that you want it?  You could have been trying a different approach this time around and just thinking about trying to be an understanding and non-demanding individual,  But we all know that if we give someone an inch, they may take a mile or the bait.  Depending on whether you want them to run or fish I guess.


Close my eyes let down my hair
I'm thinking what I want's gonna take me there on a daily fare
Turn the dial on the stereo
I'm thinking about who I want and I won't let go

To be successful you have to have successful habits.  You need to be able to work hard and play even harder. You need to be able to run with people who have the same philosophy and approach to life as you.  Care needs to be taken when you are looking to place your trust, faith and hopes in people.  Doing so in the wrong people can lead you to mistrust, hopelessness and despair.  Where do you want to be in your life?  And with whom?  Being able to not just think about what you want and who you want isn't enough anymore.  You need to be conscious of whether you want those to manifest into reality or not.  What will you turn the dial to on the stereo?  What do you think is worth listening to these days?  Do you go with your feel-good sounds?  Memories of your youth? Something completely different?

You can't hold me now, only I can do that
You can't hold me now, only I can do that
You can't hold me now, only I can do that
You can't hold me now, hold me now, ooh

We expect people to hold us but rather than reaching out we should be reaching within.  You cannot expect someone to care for you if they have hurt you.  You cannot expect someone to have your best interests at heart when they want to break yours.  You cannot expect friends to understand why you have developed feelings for someone unless they feel that their position in your life has been threatened.  You cannot expect friends to be able to really tell you how they are feeling because maybe they don't understand these feelings of resentment, irritation, maybe even envy or jealousy at its worst.  Insecurity even?  Who knows.  Until they are willing to tell you what their intentions are and how they want to stay connected with you, only they can do that.  

Thought you were my only love
But I felt someone with the perfect touch
And oh wow you can't hold me
I don't wanna waste your time
Gotta secret and it's mine oh mine
Ooh wow you can't hold me

It is quite natural to have expectations in a relationship.  You would like to think that you could leave your partner and friend together without anything untoward materialising. When something does - how do you deal with it.  You try to be reasonable, fair and logical.  But emotions can run high.  Apologies may come laced with sugar, together with a justified explanation.  On the other side, there are statements made that you didn't ask to hear, coupled with an almost eerie cackle that you didn't expect together with a hint at a competition that you didn't know you were drafted for as a contestant.  Decisions need to be made - whether there is time to be wasted by pursuing something that can only bring you pain.  Whether a perfect touch is worth being called the imperfect douche. 

I used to have to wait around, stay home baby I can hold it down
And oh wow you can't hold me
Now I don't wanna look no more, I'm the one that I've been waiting for
Ooh wow you can't hold me 

I hope that if you are in some kind of relationship limbo that you take the time to consider all of your options.  I mean, why do people pursue relationships these days?  Sharing your successes with someone can be a reason.  Finding someone compatible is another.  Tying a nice bow to a loose end...... tidy, but is it enough?  Maybe you need to resign yourself to the fact that you are not meant to be in a relationship that makes you question your worth, your taste in objects of your affection, whether you can trust having friends to be around your current love interest.  Maybe it's time to stop looking around but just look inside.  There is much more to learn about yourself, to be in tune with what you want out of life and how you can make that come to life.  You may not know what tomorrow brings, but you only know for sure that just right now, for the time being, you can't hold me. . . 

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