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Be yourself. . .

Be yourself, be yourself
You were gonna call her back 
And I ain't gonna hold you back 
And there ain't nothing wrong with that
Thought you'd wait I'd give you back

Have you ever given someone licence to be themselves?  They might be spending far too much time trying to be someone else or trying to impress you with being someone else.  I don't understand why people do that.  To me, it's always been pretty easy to spot someone who isn't being their authentic self.  How can you tell?  It's not like that teacher from,  I can't recall which Harry Potter movie/book now, you know the one, he drinks a potion to stay in his fake human form while he's working at Hogwarts (apologies to all Harry Potter fans for that ridiculously vague description).  But what if you've been so busy being someone else, you don't even remember how to be yourself anymore?

Lately something's been on your mind
Man's up (?), still suck, lovestruck what's up?
Why you even bother me if there's someone else?
Why you get involved with me, gave you butterflies 
Once upon a time with me, if you gotta go, 
You ain't gotta lie to me
Baby if it's like that, why you lookin'?
Oh you like that, how's it lookin'?
What you coppin', window shoppin' like you got options 
I know you ain't focused 'bout us
Oooh I'm not even mad at you
You got my approval to do what you want to do

It's that age-old question - why do you even bother me?  When someone tries to get you invested in them, trying to pick apart and understand you, by making you confront things about yourself that they have no business trying to uncover - how do you cope with that?  When people start to fabricate stories to cover their tracks, they have to be a master liar.  If you are going to lie - you have to know how to keep track of all the lies that you've told.  If you don't have a good memory, then you're doomed from the start.  Why even start down a path that you have no skill, let alone any type of mastery trying to navigate?  The only one who is going to be entertained in the end, are the very people you are trying to fool.

Skrrrt skrrrt be yourself
If you want, let it go, be yourself
You're not ready and I know 'cause
You were gonna call her back
And I ain't gonna hold you back
And there ain't nothing wrong with that
Thought you'd wait I'd give you back

What do you need to let go of?  For the most part, it could be associations with people who try to retain some hold on you that they are not allowed to, or are entitled to.  It could be your own negative qualities that you need to do away with, discard and disregard as they serve you no real purpose in the long run.  Yes, it's tiring.  Yes, it's a mission.  But in the act of becoming your best self, how did you think that you would be able to do that, without shedding some of the unnecessary layers that keep trying to consume you?  If you are ready to keep connected and stay in touch then so be it. But if you are ready to just stay focused on the journey that you are on, then keep your eyes on the prize.


Be yourself, if you want, let it go
Be yourself, and I ain't gonna
You're not ready and I know 'cause
You were gonna call her back
And I ain't gonna hold you back
And there ain't nothing wrong with that 
Thought you'd wait I'd give you back

When are you most yourself?
People from many moons ago only remember who you were when you with them.  They don't know that you have grown up, matured, done things and said things that have meant the world to people.  They hold you up against what you were like back then, with them, and they refuse to see you any other way.  Is there anything wrong with that?  No.  It just means that their views of you are dated, not current, and completely misinformed. The last thing you want is to hold people back from being their real selves. I'm not sure if I want to be anybody's expectations.  I don't want to be anyone's obligation.  I would like to think that I wouldn't hold anyone back.

Fly, take off little birdy go fly
'Cause I want you to live your best life, it's alright
You can have your candles and your cake too ooh
'Cause it's cool, I'm not even mad at you
You've got my approval to do what you want to do

I'm learning to take control of my anger.  I probably don't even come across as a mad kind of person, but I think it's only because I hide it well.  If people make you mad, it takes a lot for you to push past the anger and reconsider how you want to be in the world, whether it is healthy for you to express anger and how you want it to be manifested in the world.  My parents expect me to never be mad - but seriously, when being mad is the only appropriate emotion that you can express - what other alternative is there?  You then have to resort finding other avenues to channel that anger in some healthier option.  People associate being mad as a bad thing - but no, I don't think it is.  If someone causes you harm and being upset about it or having a chance to be mad about it is taken away from you because they apologised too soon, to make themselves feel better - that isn't fair.

Be your...self, if you want let it go 
Be yourself, you're not ready and I know 'cause
You were gonna call her back
And I ain't gonna hold you back
And there ain't nothing wrong with that
Thought you'd wait I'd give you back

I'm been trying to finish this blog post since forever.  There have been too many things going on to be able to finish it to a point that I'm happy about.  If you are going through a situation where people continue to hold you back, maybe it is time to let them know that.  Sometimes people are unaware that their behaviour gets in the way of you reaching your goals, gets in the way of your own personal growth - because they are scared that you are changing too much, that you are growing away from them.  So what do they do?  They behave in silly ways to get your attention and hope that you will come running to fix them again.  I just think sometimes, that unless you speak up, you will never get the space you need to be yourself. . . 

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