Here I am, Just as I am . . .
If these walls could talk
They would sing the saddest songs
If this clock could stop
I'd jump in time to when the hurt is gone
I've had my share of come downs and heartbreaks
And I've made a bed of mistakes
Trauma is defined as a deeply distressing or a disturbing experience.
In medical terms trauma is also defined as a physical injury.
Somehow I think the two are connected, because sometimes the deeply distressing or disturbing experience, if you're not careful, can manifest itself into a physical injury.
There have been a few friends around me who have experienced some deeply distressing or disturbing experiences. Everyone has their own threshold for trauma too, because let's face it, there is no competition about who suffers more, it's actually about how much one person is able to maintain their sense of self while they go through these experiences. What would you do to escape the hurt or pain you are going through? Sometimes you might be experiencing such things because you've brought them on yourself or you have fallen victim to circumstances beyond your control.
Here I am
Just as I am
Weathered and scarred
Right now I need someone
To lay here with me and my missing parts
I come in pieces
Oh I come in pieces
When you go through trauma in your life, and trauma you can safely say, is not something that you wish on anyone to experience - no matter what the situation or context seems to be. But I think that it is definitely a test of your strength of character and your ability to know how to rise above, even your own come downs, heartbreaks and mistakes. But isn't that the thing about making a mistake. Depending on how big the mistake is, it can be the difference between how other people treat you and how you treat yourself. When you own up to mistakes, you should feel a sense of release, a sense of calm or peace, some strength beginning to creep back into your resolve because you start to feel your resilience planting seeds of hope again. Look around you, where you are, just as you are. If there are people that are willing to lie down next to you during your most deeply distressing and disturbing times in your life - those are the people worth holding onto, those are the people who are worth comforting too, when they have their own trauma.
If these sheets could make you stay
I'd wrap myself right up in you
And getting lost wouldn't be a shame
Cause I've got nothing left to lose
When people leave you and can no longer handle the after effects of your trauma, what then?
I think we can just appreciate and be grateful for whatever comfort people are willing to offer. We need to accept that people can say the wrong things - well, according to your ears. They might say things that you need to hear, that you don't necessarily want to. However you choose to rationalise whatever has happened, is something that you will continue to repeat over and over in your head and only allow those words to seep in that must either add to your deeply distressing or disturbing experience, but shouldn't lead to you causing physical injury to yourself. That would probably be the biggest fear that your friends and loved ones would experience. When you allow your trauma to end a life that is worth being lived. Because no matter how bad life seems, no matter how you think you leaving your life behind seems to be the only solution, it actually brings about a series of problems for everyone else. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? No ultimate selfish act is never worth the pain left behind. I'm sure you wouldn't want to do that either. Even when we have nothing left to lose, we must never ultimately lose ourselves.
Here I am
Just as I am
Weathered and scarred
Right now I need someone
To lay here with me
To love completely
I come in pieces
Oh I come in pieces
I hope that no matter where you are in your life, that you are able to push through your trauma.
The thing about trauma, unless it does manifest as a physical injury, nobody really knows what you're going through, unless they take the time out to check in on you, or see you around.
I hope that you find the right people, or the right people come to you, to offer support and love that you need. It is very rare and hard to come across those people who understand exactly the type of love that you need, to be loved unconditionally and to just be able to lie there next to you and not offer anything else but just real genuine warmth. I think people forget that sometimes the best way to offer comfort or support for a weathered and scarred you, is just to lie there and see that it is not their job to put you back together, but just to be there to recognise that sometimes, you come in pieces. . .