The journey. . .

Half the world is sleeping
Half the world's awake
Half can hear their hearts beat
Half just hear them break
I am but a traveler in most every way

Ask me what you want to know

When you can only find peace of mind when half the world is asleep - that's saying something.  You have to wait until there is complete stillness so that you can in turn be still.  You need that time and space to allow the words to spill from your mind, into your hands and onto the screen.  I wonder sometimes how you can be open and share so willingly with people.  But on the other hand there is a real need to protect yourself from harm, as not everyone seems to be as genuine as they claim to be.  Not everyone is as helpful as they claim to be.  This is why you travel from place to place and learn to know who to trust, learn to know how to develop your discernment and just take a breath every now and again.  Have you asked the right questions to find out what you need to know?  Maybe you are just sick of being disappointed.  Focus instead on what you can control - your emotions, your thoughts and your dreams.  

What a journey it has been

And the end is not in sight

But the stars are out tonight

And they're bound to guide my way

Where has your journey taken you?  People may think you have reached the end of the road, that you have nothing left to lose, nothing left to gain.  Stay away from people who would not have your best interests at heart.  Stay away from people who have nothing but bad intentions for you. Learn instead to take notice of the stars that shine above you.  Learn instead to trust in a higher power that seeks to guide you where you need to be lead.  We follow the wrong signs, we walk alongside the wrong people with our wrong decisions.  What is the end in sight for you? No matter what you are facing in your life, continue to have faith, continue to hope, just, continue.  Where people see only failure and gossip about you, see only what you know your higher calling is - that Jonah, Noah kind of call that you cannot ignore.  This is why half the world is asleep while you are still awake.  You still have much to do.

When they're shining on my life

I can see a better day

I won't let the darkness in

What a journey it has been

The thing about darkness, is that if you sit in it long enough, you start to become familiar with your surroundings.  What may initially terrify you, instead starts to take shape as something that changes and shifts.  You start to breathe much more slowly, take in what's around you before you know what your next move should be.  How is that darkness treating you?  Does it threaten to overwhelm you and consume you?  Does it wait patiently for you to fall apart so people can come along and make comments with their five cent opinions?  When you have lost sight of a better day, this is a sign that you need to take a step back and think seriously about the kind of life that you want to have that should focus solely on your own happiness, your own direction and what you really want your life to actually look like, free from duty and obligation, free from naysayers or non-believers, free from people who would revel in your failure.  Succeed in spite of it all.  Succeed in spite of their spite.  It's the only medicine moving forward.

I have been to sorrow

I have been to bliss

Where I'll be tomorrow

I can only guess

Can you tell the difference between your moments of sorrow and your moments of bliss? I had once thought it was easy to tell these apart, but these moments almost seem to bleed into each other, and have become indistinguishable over time.  You might actually mistake one for the other, or they change without you noticing or paying close enough attention.  I guess we need to be more vigilant about what is happening to us in certain situations, what is happening to us when we do not become more aware of who or what is around us.  If you are not sure where you will be tomorrow, that's a good thing.  The more plans you make, the less they may come to fruition as there are more lessons you get positioned to learn instead.  

Through the darkest desert

Through the deepest snow

Forward, always forward

I go

No matter what unfamiliar territory you find yourself in, learn to know how that discomfort feels.  It isn't so that you start to feel uncomfortable, but so you know what pain feels like, so you know what being deprived of basic human love feels like when you stop paying attention, or stop being sensitive to what is acceptable and what isn't.  I guess the main thing is that you are able to push yourself through all of that, all of the obstacles, all of the hurdles, not because it makes you stronger, but heck, you just need to get to your damn destination - regardless of what you need to go through.  People will tell you to be humble, and that may be true.  But I've found that people, although they mean well and have good intentions with their words, they don't actually know what you're going through.  They have never been through the darkest desert, or through the deepest snow.  You find yourself going through so many obstacles and hurdles that you start to wonder when these challenges will ever end.  All you need to remember is that if your life is constantly peppered with such things, if your life is fraught with unbearable pain, you must be doing something right, for somebody, somewhere.

Forward, always forward

Onward, always up

Catching every drop of hope

In my empty cup

I hope that you continue to keep moving.  Even if you don't know where you are going.  It isn't about the destination so much anymore.  Loma taught me that.  We had made plans to live a life that would be spent with much laughter and love.  The world seems bleak without him.  I haven't come across anyone who was as genuine, forgiving and cheerful as him.  I understand now that time spent with loved ones, and those who love us in return, are precious times indeed.  If you leave this earth knowing anything for sure, it's that nothing is for sure, nothing is certain.  I can no longer rely on the goodwill of others who claim to help or who I have helped in the past.  Sometimes people forget what reciprocity is all about, and that's totally fine.  It is a lesson that you learn about people who have no hesitation in asking you for help in their time of need, because you would want to be helped in return if ever one day you needed it too.  But in the event that reciprocity does not arrive on your doorstep, take comfort in the film reel that is your life.  Remember the moments of bliss rather than the moments of sorrow.  And if you have to remember those moments of sorrow, because you know, we have to live a balanced life and not forget how much we have grown pushing through dark deserts and deepest snows, think of a happy time, where smiles came easy to you.  That's all you need to sustain you and help you remember that while you stay alive on this earth, that living isn't about our destination, because we never stop there for long until we depart this place, it's all about the journey. . .