Never had to work for love
Don't need you to show me how
Don't want to be falling in
When I'm falling out
Didn't think I'd give for love
Every time I hold it back
Now there's lust in my head
I'm trying find out who I am
Love should never be hard work, should it? To make love last an eternity takes some high level of skill that we probably don't possess. We would like to think that we are able to process everything and it is all possible, but why do we find ourselves in these same arguments? In these same stretches of silence? What would you give for love? We might be attacked for holding back, holding our love from connecting with others, but if people knew what goes in your head, you would question whether you had enough love for yourself, let alone someone else.
There's choosers, there's takers
There's beggin' heartbreakers
I don't wanna be that way
You will never hear me say
Come hold me, console me
When really I'm lonely
Even if I feel this way
I don't wanna feel this way
When I. . .
So many different categories, but they are all the same in the end. Wanting pieces of you that you can barely make available for yourself. When will you let on that you need reciprocity too? But what cost does it come at? You should be able to share your vulnerabilities with those you trust, but you start to resent how you change in relationships, how you change when dynamics with people start to shift. Trying to figure out who you are alone, and who you are with someone else has everything to do with your sense of identity, and less about blaming others for your insecurities.
Need someone
I don't wanna need no one
I'm not tryna let you in
Even if I find the one
You could be forgiven for thinking that through your own internal struggles, that you would be able to figure out how your heart navigates its path - but you never do. People weigh in with their opinions like keyboard warriors in online platforms, whether you asked for it or not. Why should you let someone in when you can't even get yourself out? Why do we not want to need someone? Maybe we've been too hurt and abused in previous relationships to know what good love looks like, when it arrives on your doorstep.
Never had to wait for love
Always thought it'd come around
You come for me
But I'm nowhere to be found
Consolations with conversations
I don't need right now
I'm afraid that these relations
Aren't going to be tied down
Close friends seek relationship advice from me now and again. It's funny to me because it's more to do with me being a good listener (when I really focus and hear what the person isn't saying, rather than what they're saying) by having discernment. I wonder how much more people are out of sync with each other right now? You're ready, they're not. They're ready, you're not. This constant pushing and pulling never sits in a happy place at the end. Should we be content with consolation conversations? Everybody knows intelligent women require intelligent partners to tussle with and explore new thinking. If there is no alignment, then you would have no problems with being tied down - there's just nothing to tie it with.
There's choosers, there's takers
There's beggin' heartbreakers
I don't wanna be that way
You will never hear me say
Come hold me, console me
When really I'm lonely
Even if I feel this way
I don't wanna feel this way
When I. . .
Then there's that pesky dilemma of not wanting to show your true feelings - so you say nothing. This is often what happens in relationships. What are we not saying to each other? Where are you meant to turn for solace from traumatic experiences? You naturally gravitate towards that person who has championed your fight with you. However, we can complicate issues by continuing to fight ourselves, bychoosing to behave in ways that are acceptable to others, but completely miss the mark when it comes to honouring your own genuine intentions. What can be done to not feel inadequate? Believe in the spark that can still be ignited from within. How can you set the whole world on fire when you haven't set yourself alight?
Need someone
I don't wanna need no one
I'm not tryna let you in
Even if I find the one
I think there will be times in your life when you will need someone, and when you will need yourself more. For whatever reasons, seasons and lessons that we live through; be mindful of the growth you have made - don't waste all of that good work that you did on yourself, instead convert those huge changes into personal milestones. Celebrate how far you have come. Acknowledge that you are far from the finish line - but never stop running. This is a solo race where you are trying to keep your momentum up as well as prove to yourself, how amazing you are. Who knows though right? Things might change yet again when you stumble across the one. . .