I'm saying sorry in advance
'Cause this won't always go to plan
Though we don't mean to take our love for granted
It's in our nature to forget what matters
When people start apologising in advance, it's the beginning of the tip of the iceberg, the surest sign that you are in for a rollercoaster ride of a relationship. When people start to tell you all the bad things about themselves, the flaws that may not seem so obvious on the surface, it's a surefire signal to be cautious, to maybe at least back off and reconsider whether you are a fool rushing in or an angel who fears to tread. The more you plan, sometimes it doesn't necessarily go to plan. We need to actually plan for the unplanned - that's most likely the only thing you can plan for. Who among you has taken love for granted? We have ideas about what we think love is all about and how it should work out. Have you forgotten what matters to you? Do we need to be reminded of what is missing from our natures?
And when the goin' is getting tough
And we're all about giving up
Things that we never thought we'd say gunna say em
Games that we never thought we'd play gunna play em
Most fights we have with loved ones can be a result of so many things that we have held on to for so long, that we have let accumulate and build up and didn't allow people to really take notice of and see. We all know in theory that it isn't right to say things that we know are wrong, that we play games that we know are wrong when we should be holding the line and try harder to do the right thing instead. How do we know that we have reached the toughest time that we are meant to face? We give up in the face of hardship, only to realise that it wasn't the breaking point that you thought because harder and harsher challenges arrive on your doorstep instead. This begs the question - when is it the right time to give up? When should we consider how to make plans for what's required to be more mentally, physically, spiritually tough?
It ain't perfect but it's worth it and it's always getting better
It's gunna take some time to get it right
If you're a smart person, you would know that there is no such thing as a perfect love. If you're a smart person, you would know that love always gets better when you know how to nurture it, know how to cultivate it so that you are providing a conducive environment for love to flourish and grow. You would also know, as a smart person, that rushing into anything isn't a great idea. How much do you really know about what you want in a partner? We can often forget that while we are thinking that we know what we want, others think they know someone who would be a perfect fit for you. I must admit that I had forgotten about this song. But a friend reminded me about how much it affected him and asked me to listen carefully to it. Are you taking the time to get things right for you?
'Cause I'm still learning the art of love
I'm still tryin' to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out, you need to spell it out
you need to spell it out, you need to spell it out for me
'Cause I'm still tryin' to learn the art of love
This is the biggest challenge though right? You think there is an art to love? That there is the right way of doing things and trying to get through it unscathed and not getting hurt? Then you're not doing it properly. You should expect to mess up. It's part of the learning process, isn't it? I guess you could categorise all of the intentional things that hurt people - like cheating, lying - those big things that can usually break a relationship - that's shit you should steer well clear of if you intend to make a go of a real relationship. Why would you put up with hearing someone profess their love with you and then they go and creep around without you knowing? It happens. It's just whether you find out.
If I forget to get the door
Remind you that you're beautiful
I know my detail requires more attention
If I ever hurt you it's not my intention
What little things do you do that go unnoticed? What little things do you do gets noticed? Sometimes you think you have it all figured out and then you always get surprised. Is chivalry dead? It's hard to tell with some people. You wonder whether you should trust people or not, because they may say one thing and do another. You might still be learning about them, getting to know them to realise what's really going on - or not. I have always found it fascinating when people have mentioned things to me about who I am, how I am because I guess I don't think that every conversation or every occasion is them checking on me in that way - but it inevitably does. When people hurt you, it comes down to whether they meant to do it or not. What do you think requires more attention when it comes to the art of love with you? Do people need to prove how much they love you?
'Cause we're gunna make our mistakes
Find out how much our heart can take
But I know know that you got my back
Are you the first to apologise? Or are you the one expecting the apology? Sometimes people apologise early (or in advance) because they don't want to hear the full story, they would rather just say sorry and not hear you nagging. But it isn't nagging. Actually, they should hear why the apology is necessary, rather than try to pre-empt it. How much can your heart take? Maybe it's been broken so many times you've forgotten it hasn't healed? Your heart might take more than your friends think it should? The thing is, people don't know what your heart can take, because it's not theirs. If you make mistakes and own up to them - that's all that anybody can hope for, it's the best you can do in any given situation. Whose back do you have? Just make sure that in the process of being there for everyone else, that you don't forget to have your own.
Sometimes I'm gonna miss
I'm learnin' how to give
I'm not giving up
I'm learnin' how to love
Learnin' how to love
When we don't get things right or we miss opportunities to give of our best, do you seek other times to make things right? Should we hold onto things or relationships even if we can see that they are just not meant to work? Does being patient and trying to hope for the best - is that even enough? Do we let ourselves become someone else just so that we can be in relationships? We may try different approaches and see where things take us, but we can never really know for sure how things will turn out. But that's the risk you take when you are trying to learn how to love right? Nobody does it right. Nobody does it perfectly. Sometimes the whole thing is just tiring and too much effort. But will you give up? Only you know.
'Cause I'm still learning the art of love
I'm still tryin' to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out, you need to spell it out
you need to spell it out, you need to spell it out for me
'Cause I'm still tryin' to learn the art of love
I hope that you realise, that how many times you have stumbled, it was important to get back up. The strength that we can garner from resilience and the continual quest for a love that is deserving of your love - that should be something that you bear in mind. We should never be easily fooled by what seems, rather than what really is. If you feel you must, ask questions and seek the clarity that you need. Sometimes we rely too much on assumptions, rather than making sure that what is said is actually what is meant. I guess if you're not willing to learn about what is required to love, to really be in love and know what it means when you are loved - then you're still learning the art of love. . .
'Cause this won't always go to plan
Though we don't mean to take our love for granted
It's in our nature to forget what matters
When people start apologising in advance, it's the beginning of the tip of the iceberg, the surest sign that you are in for a rollercoaster ride of a relationship. When people start to tell you all the bad things about themselves, the flaws that may not seem so obvious on the surface, it's a surefire signal to be cautious, to maybe at least back off and reconsider whether you are a fool rushing in or an angel who fears to tread. The more you plan, sometimes it doesn't necessarily go to plan. We need to actually plan for the unplanned - that's most likely the only thing you can plan for. Who among you has taken love for granted? We have ideas about what we think love is all about and how it should work out. Have you forgotten what matters to you? Do we need to be reminded of what is missing from our natures?
And when the goin' is getting tough
And we're all about giving up
Things that we never thought we'd say gunna say em
Games that we never thought we'd play gunna play em
Most fights we have with loved ones can be a result of so many things that we have held on to for so long, that we have let accumulate and build up and didn't allow people to really take notice of and see. We all know in theory that it isn't right to say things that we know are wrong, that we play games that we know are wrong when we should be holding the line and try harder to do the right thing instead. How do we know that we have reached the toughest time that we are meant to face? We give up in the face of hardship, only to realise that it wasn't the breaking point that you thought because harder and harsher challenges arrive on your doorstep instead. This begs the question - when is it the right time to give up? When should we consider how to make plans for what's required to be more mentally, physically, spiritually tough?
It ain't perfect but it's worth it and it's always getting better
It's gunna take some time to get it right
If you're a smart person, you would know that there is no such thing as a perfect love. If you're a smart person, you would know that love always gets better when you know how to nurture it, know how to cultivate it so that you are providing a conducive environment for love to flourish and grow. You would also know, as a smart person, that rushing into anything isn't a great idea. How much do you really know about what you want in a partner? We can often forget that while we are thinking that we know what we want, others think they know someone who would be a perfect fit for you. I must admit that I had forgotten about this song. But a friend reminded me about how much it affected him and asked me to listen carefully to it. Are you taking the time to get things right for you?
'Cause I'm still learning the art of love
I'm still tryin' to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out, you need to spell it out
you need to spell it out, you need to spell it out for me
'Cause I'm still tryin' to learn the art of love
This is the biggest challenge though right? You think there is an art to love? That there is the right way of doing things and trying to get through it unscathed and not getting hurt? Then you're not doing it properly. You should expect to mess up. It's part of the learning process, isn't it? I guess you could categorise all of the intentional things that hurt people - like cheating, lying - those big things that can usually break a relationship - that's shit you should steer well clear of if you intend to make a go of a real relationship. Why would you put up with hearing someone profess their love with you and then they go and creep around without you knowing? It happens. It's just whether you find out.
If I forget to get the door
Remind you that you're beautiful
I know my detail requires more attention
If I ever hurt you it's not my intention
What little things do you do that go unnoticed? What little things do you do gets noticed? Sometimes you think you have it all figured out and then you always get surprised. Is chivalry dead? It's hard to tell with some people. You wonder whether you should trust people or not, because they may say one thing and do another. You might still be learning about them, getting to know them to realise what's really going on - or not. I have always found it fascinating when people have mentioned things to me about who I am, how I am because I guess I don't think that every conversation or every occasion is them checking on me in that way - but it inevitably does. When people hurt you, it comes down to whether they meant to do it or not. What do you think requires more attention when it comes to the art of love with you? Do people need to prove how much they love you?
'Cause we're gunna make our mistakes
Find out how much our heart can take
But I know know that you got my back
Are you the first to apologise? Or are you the one expecting the apology? Sometimes people apologise early (or in advance) because they don't want to hear the full story, they would rather just say sorry and not hear you nagging. But it isn't nagging. Actually, they should hear why the apology is necessary, rather than try to pre-empt it. How much can your heart take? Maybe it's been broken so many times you've forgotten it hasn't healed? Your heart might take more than your friends think it should? The thing is, people don't know what your heart can take, because it's not theirs. If you make mistakes and own up to them - that's all that anybody can hope for, it's the best you can do in any given situation. Whose back do you have? Just make sure that in the process of being there for everyone else, that you don't forget to have your own.
Sometimes I'm gonna miss
I'm learnin' how to give
I'm not giving up
I'm learnin' how to love
Learnin' how to love
When we don't get things right or we miss opportunities to give of our best, do you seek other times to make things right? Should we hold onto things or relationships even if we can see that they are just not meant to work? Does being patient and trying to hope for the best - is that even enough? Do we let ourselves become someone else just so that we can be in relationships? We may try different approaches and see where things take us, but we can never really know for sure how things will turn out. But that's the risk you take when you are trying to learn how to love right? Nobody does it right. Nobody does it perfectly. Sometimes the whole thing is just tiring and too much effort. But will you give up? Only you know.
'Cause I'm still learning the art of love
I'm still tryin' to not mess up
So whenever I stumble let me know
You need to spell it out, you need to spell it out
you need to spell it out, you need to spell it out for me
'Cause I'm still tryin' to learn the art of love
I hope that you realise, that how many times you have stumbled, it was important to get back up. The strength that we can garner from resilience and the continual quest for a love that is deserving of your love - that should be something that you bear in mind. We should never be easily fooled by what seems, rather than what really is. If you feel you must, ask questions and seek the clarity that you need. Sometimes we rely too much on assumptions, rather than making sure that what is said is actually what is meant. I guess if you're not willing to learn about what is required to love, to really be in love and know what it means when you are loved - then you're still learning the art of love. . .