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Ain't it funny. . .

There used to be another girl
She once lived in her mother's world
Who grew up in the flowers and dirt
Always playing 
Never far from your door

Do you remember what you were like as a child?  Would you have imagined that you would grow up and be exactly where you are now?  Can you remember playing outside your house, playing with the neighbour's kids?  I remember being friends with the boy next door and I also remember his mother trying to discourage that friendship.  I can understand it now as an adult because she was a white woman who didn't want her eldest of two boys to be friends with the Polynesian girl from next door.  Even with my perfect English and soft-spoken voice, it was still too confronting for her to have her son be friends with someone like me.

And there was you
Playing games outside my house
Just two small people
No fear or doubts
Who knew you were always gonna be
Such a part of me
Ain't it funny what love can do

I remember playing handstands on the patches of lawn outside our houses.  There were a couple of boys on the block who we all played together with.  This was in the very early 80s when you could actually play outside your house and not have to worry about being snatched.  There were rumblings of things of that nature happening, but we were a tight-knit neighbourhood so that sort of stuff wasn't going to happen.  We ended up scoring the top marks in class and being put in a language group because we could read and write well (I was going to say, write good lol).  I miss those days of innocence.  When love wasn't a word that you threw around, but your actions showed your friends how much you loved them, without fear of other rubbish surfacing and ruining things.  But I guess that's what love does - makes you question where you really stand.

It can make sunshine at night
It can turn wrong into right
It can break (it can break) a foolish heart in two
It can bring oceans of tears 
And make 'em all disappear (disappear)
Ain't it funny what love can do

How many times have you had your foolish heart broken into two?  Maybe you've broken a few hearts along the way, that you had no idea were beating for you.  Have you drowned in your own oceans of tears?  I've said on many occasions that crying is helpful, crying is therapeutic, and is the best way to reset before you move on with what you need to do.  I only know of a few times when I have disappointed someone because I didn't reciprocate their feelings.  It was a hard process to move through because they were different situations, I couldn't see a future with them and I allowed other barriers getting in the way of what could've been.  And now I'll never know.


It doesn't seem that long ago
You called my name through the bedroom door
By then, I knew you'd never leave me again
The summer breeze, blew you in through my door, once more
Now take a look into these eyes
They've witnessed crimson and violet nights
So real, real as any dream can be, look at you and me
Ain't it funny what love (what love) can do

There's a saying - familiarity breeds contempt. If you become oblivious to how people feel because you've forgotten to read the signs, you would think that they would be more forgiving because you're just not in the right headspace.  Do you speak up when you are supposed to?  You find that when you go to speak, you just get talked over and you realise that saying what you really want to say, will not be heard.  Any smart person would know that you not wanting to speak up has nothing to do with fear.  It actually has everything to do with you knowing full well, that they cannot take what you have to say.  They can't accept what your true intentions are.  They can't accept that if you wanted to, you could walk away and never come back again.

When it's cold out when we're older
When the autumn wind blows all around
The pages will crumble and burn
But we both know we've got this to hold onto
The love that flows from me to you

I'm not sure if I understand what love is anymore.  Should I?  The moment I push it aside and don't want to face it, love turns up and makes me think about it being a possibility again.  But I know the tricks.  I know how it likes to play games and backtrack, take back what it says and replace it with something else far beyond what you expected.  I guess you can only hold onto the pages with someone who won't set them alight, or rip them from the book of your time together when they get overemotional.  What should they do so that they should preserve something they are in danger of losing?

Deeper than a winter's night
When the silence hurts and the rivers wide
If  (you) ever have to go away, I'm going too
Ain't it funny what love (what love) can do

Accept all the excuses you are given if you are in the habit of collecting them.
I rarely argue with people unless I feel that it is absolutely warranted.  Are you done dealing with people's insecurities?  I don't know how much longer I can put up with any of it to be honest.  If you are becoming increasingly distant from making even your own damn self happy, that's something to think about first.  Because no matter how many promises are made, they are always broken.  When I break a promise, I get told not to make promises again.  I just think people don't understand that promises made need to be done so there is context and a clear understanding of what the effect of that promise being broken does.  So what I have learned about love?  I don't really know.  All I know is ain't it funny what love can do. . . .

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