There's no emergency
No sirens in front of me
There's nothing to stop me from getting my way, yeah
I'm not going anywhere
If you tell me, I'll stay right here
I'll be in the same place everyday
Heart stays patient
'Cause I know it's worth it
I think I've become desensitised. I'm not quite sure if it's a bad thing or not. Does this mean that I've experienced trauma more than the average person? Possibly. There is no limit to this because you cannot have the good without the bad. We only want the good, but then do not know how to deal with the bad when it stares us in the face. Have you thought about what you would like to do to get yourself out of what seems to feel like a glitch in the matrix? How do you know that you have the fortitude to withstand this kind of abuse? When people say the struggle is real, how real does it have to be? The kind of real where you are often given unsolicited advice and you didn't ask for it? That they think their ideas and comments can make one blind bit of difference to changing your world? They don't have the power to take you under unless you allow it. People will think you are resilient. No, you've just become conditioned. You withstand this much better than the average person because you've known this kind of pain your whole life. It's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just that you never realised that in certain parts of the day you are much more circumspect and can see things from angles that nobody has ever considered, nor let alone have the eyes to behold and comprehend. It's not their fault. It's just how you see.
That's why I take my time
Take as long as I got
Won't pretend to be somebody I'm not
I'm not perfect, nobody is
Could fill an ocean of blood sweat and tears, yeah
Good things come to those who wait
I've actually lost track of time. I don't deal in time anymore. I only stick to time commitments because people around me are dictated by time. I show up for things because I have been taught to be there for others at a specified time so that it is easy to measure when something begins and when it eventually ends. But what happens when the things that plague you have no beginning or end? You are in a constant state of flux and nobody knows how that feels, like you're caught in some neverending story that you didn't realise had started and you suddenly realise you were the protagonist in the story the entire time. You had the power to drive the momentum forward with all of your decisions, when you thought that you were just an observer being slightly entertained by something that you had never experienced before.
To show all my cards to you
But that's what a fool would do
I prefer to stick when the others would twist
'Cause most people run and fall
They don't even work at all
There's nothing to prove, just to feel you exist
If you were taught to play card games correctly growing up, you know that you always keep your cards close to your chest. You learn how to make moves without revealing your strategy. How many card games do you know how to play? Are you a card shark? Or you're only good at a specific game? Most of the time when you play a card game, the way to beat your opponent is to put them off with banter and engage in psychological warfare. I have watched so many card players in my childhood. I have marveled at their skill and ability to be good enough, so good, that just when you think you can predict how things turn out, they go another way. If you pay attention close enough, you start to see what others are truly capable of and you learn about how to do things that people don't expect to see coming.
That's why I take my time
Take as long as I got
Won't pretend to be somebody I'm not
I'm not perfect, nobody is
Could fill an ocean of blood sweat and tears, yeah
Good things come to those who wait
I hope that you don't have to pretend to be somebody you're not in order to survive. Sometimes when we feel like we are in danger of losing ourselves, losing face, losing a grip on reality, we kick into self preservation mode and take desperate steps to get to a solution. You try to live a life that does not hurt anyone, and if you have, you try your damnedest not to hurt people intentionally ever again. The time for crying blood, sweat and tears is over. Take a moment to figure out how you want to live your days. How do you see happiness coming from within yourself? We rely on others to provide it for us, but we must rely on creating, recreating and reconnecting with like minds who can truly understand our purpose. We may start to lose patience. lose hope, lose faith and lose sleep. We might think that there is no end in sight, no end to the suffering, no end to the sacrifices you continue to make. Do not be discouraged. It is when we are held the closest to the fire, that we know we are being forged into a new transformation. We only need to remember that good things come to those who wait. . .