I just don't understand
They say love is compromise
Where does that leave us?
When I look into your eyes you seem to care
When you lead me to another place
It isn't fair
All these rules you make
Where do you find yourself when making compromises in love? Being able to come to common ground takes time and patience. It takes the willingness to listen to each other, hear each other out and figure out the best way forward for each other. Do we take each other's feelings into account when it's needed most? If we continue to do things that hurt others, is this really how we show them we love them? Why do we make rules for people that we don't follow ourselves? We must address the imbalance that occurs. When we are lead to places that we have never been to before, do we feel safe there?
I just can't stay around with all your foolish games
It's like a miracle I made it this far
And you say you won't keep fighting
But I know you will
It's like a cycle and still
How much longer will you engage in foolish games? I remember sharing with a friend many moons ago about the fact that the trauma he was continually putting himself through, by being taken through an amusement park (that wasn't amusing by the way), focused on him being dragged through all the different emotional rides and attractions - yes, the proverbial emotional rollercoaster, the carousel, the house of mirrors, the ferris wheel, even all the little sideshows where you can take out your frustration either shooting targets or throwing rings to claim prizes. We have to figure out how to put such foolish games behind us. Are any of those prizes worth claiming?
You keep pulling me down, down, down, down, down
Lower than I've ever known
Oh you tease me with a smile
Then you leave me all alone
Do you allow yourself to get pulled down? Is it because we think that we can bounce back each time we are taken down? Maybe we allow ourselves to get pulled down, because we think that giving over such power allows others to feel empowered - by disempowering yourself. But how do we know that once we do that, we trust them to realise in time, that maybe they shouldn't take advantage of your goodwill so much? I guess that's the sacrifice you make in the name of love. Having the maturity to know that sometimes you give more of yourself, whilst not expecting anything in return, helps to minmise the disappointment that is sure to arrive at your doorstep.
I still wish things were good
Just like they used to be
Two friends who fell in love
Trapped in the mystery
We had so much in common
And we laughed at everything
That was long ago
Oh you went and changed
Sometimes change happens because change is just a natural phenomenon. Nothing stays the same and even if it does, it is never quite exactly the same. Wishing for things to still be good may not be the way things are meant to be. Growth cannot happen without all of those uncomfortable moments. Development cannot happen without all of those realisations that you want to keep buried. Asking the right questions even when you are afraid to hear the answers is something that you must be prepared to do. It's the only way to unravel mysteries that never go anywhere and puts to bed wonderings that never eventuate.
Before we lost control
Before we started to fight, oh
Before you raised your voice
Before I left that night
And now I'm left here cryin'
Head up to the sky
Tryna get back to the point when we were right
No relationship is complete without arguments or disagreements, and anybody who says that these don't happen in their relationship is a liar. Avoiding conflict is something that cannot be avoided. This is because in order to make some real progress, you need to be honest about what is happening, taking stock of your actions and holding yourself accountable. Raising your voices rather than raising your ears to listen is guaranteed to bring on more misunderstanding. The most common problem is the fact that we do not deal with problems as they arise, so we hold onto gripes until they snowball into bigger issues that they needed to be.
Like a drop of rain
Falling through a passing wind
You keep pulling me down, down, down, down, down
Can we get back up again?
The inevitability of things passing through as they do, means you either go with that flow or you create your own flow. Give yourself the time and space to be pulled down, but don't linger longer than you have to. We should only let ourselves get pulled down, if we need to see the situations from different perspectives (isn't that always?). It is something particularly hard to master - the ability to see something from someone else's eyes. What will it take for you to get back up again? Just be mindful about getting back up too soon. Sometimes we need to stay down for a little while longer to make sure that we are ready to rejoin the world again, reemerging with our inner selves intact.
Just one glimpse of happiness
And I won't have to guess if love has won
I hope that one day we will no longer have to worry about trying to grasp at glimpses of happiness. We need to savour all of the moments that trickle into our lives. We seem to think that they will be grand gestures and huge events that form part of our milestones. But we just need to drink each detail in and hope for the best. If you are the type of person that only deals in absolutes, you are in for a rude awakening. The more you will want to be in control, the less control you will have. Just know that in order for you to be ok, sometimes you just need to remember what it's like to be pulled down. . .