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My future. . .

 I can't seem to focus
And you don't seem to notice
I'm not here
I'm just a mirror
You check your complexion
To find your reflection's all alone
I had to go

It can be a very unique experience, being critically self aware and having courage to step away from entanglements that serve no purpose or will potentially seek to harm you; start being more aware of people's intentions and just their general vibe with you. How do you know when to trust your instincts? Do you allow doubt to creep in when you're not looking? This is why it is important to spend time getting to know yourself, and how you want to engage with individuals who seek you out. What is stealing your focus? Knowing when to leave is always tricky to negotiate. But negotiate that with yourself. If you want to leave, find the exit.

Can't you hear me?
I'm not comin' home
Do you understand?
I've changed my plans

Maybe people have plans for you that they don't realise actually involve some input from you, especially if it has something to do with, I don't know, YOUR life. Why won't people listen to what you are really trying to say? We never really know when we should shift the focus to having some time out to recalibrate and get yourself back on track. The thing about changing plans is that we sometimes have competing motivations that continue to make us confused about trusting a change in plan. The most successful moments I've had with changing plans is when I have realised there is no other alternative, bite the bullet and trust the process, while the plan unfolds in due course.

Cause I, I'm in love
With my future
Can't wait to meet her
And I, I'm in love
But not with anybody else
Just wanna get to know myself

For some of us, the future may seem like a far distant dream that doesn't fall within our grasp. But we are focusing on the wrong thing. We shouldn't be focusing on the trappings of life that make up all of the material gains we are taught to acquire, but rather, we should be focusing on who we will see ourselves to be. Are you looking forward to meeting your future? What will she be like? I hope she will have some things to confirm for me that I have always known existed. The inklings of things happening now lead me to believe that there will be considerable events in play that will fall out of my control. But one thing I know for sure, my future self will definitely be better prepared for it. 


I know supposedly I'm lonely now (lonely now)
Know I'm supposed to be unhappy
Without someone (someone)
But aren't I someone? (Aren't I someone? yeah)
I'd (I'd) like to be your answer (be your answer)
Cause you're so handsome (you're so handsome)

Are you seen as someone's answer? Sometimes you don't know you've been liaising with a question. When you start to feel lonely or unhappy, shift your focus, change gear and get back to those memories that help to take you to moments of self assurance and confidence. When people expect you to be lonely and unhappy, will you give them the satisfaction of seeing you so? Sometimes I think people can never imagine themselves in your shoes because they assume that your life is all rose coloured glasses, fairies and sunshine. Before we can even entertain the thought of being someone's answer - we need to be our own answer.

But I know better
Than to drive you home
Cause you'd invite me in
And I'd be yours again

When you know yourself well, particularly your weaknesses and vulnerabilities, then you should know your triggers as well as your limits. When you have made so much progress in your self awareness, engaged faithfully in critical self care, you start to feel a renewed strength that you didn't know existed You start to feel that this renewed strength and resilience has actually been laying dormant inside you for some time, just waiting for the right set of circumstances to push you to the edge of your endurance. The only time you should be driving someone home is when you know for sure that you want to be heading in the same direction.

But I, I'm in love (love, love, love, love)
With my future
And you don't know her
And I, I'm in love (love, love)
But not with anybody here
I'll see you in a couple years

I hope that when I meet myself in the future, I recognise who I am. There is so much to myself that I feel that I have yet to explore, only because I haven't been fully independent to do things on my own; my life revolves around the service of others. If people try to claim the future you, take a step back and question whether they are worth having around. If your circle or squad are not contributing to your growth, then you know that your future has to come first. Learn to craft, master and hone that self love that only you know you need. Stay away from toxicity and find joy in all the simple things in life. Ask yourself, because only you will know when the time arrives, "Am I ready to face my future?". . . 

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