Love
So many things I've got to tell you
But I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From them on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause. . .
I was just starting to figure out who was I becoming as a young woman, in college, thinking about a career when this song surfaced on the horizon. I had girlfriends who were into neo soul and Musiq Soulchild epitomised much of the understandings of what it meant to explore love, think about how to feel love in relationships, in friendship, in any connections that were artfully expressed in song. This song was no exception. Not only the lyrics and how they were strung together appealed to me but just how the entire song was put together in the way that song compositions usually are, meticulously done with layers that help to build towards a climax that the listener would eagerly put on repeat.
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first
This song made me think about and challenge my own musings about love. All of the different types of love that I knew of, learning about them growing up in my family, with friends, with acquaintances, classmates, even strangers. The easiest understandings about love of course came from friends who would tell me about their relationship problems. I had a knack for listening to people's problems while I was tutoring at university, my office fast becoming a headquarters for friends to drop in and hang out, serving as a home base for them to dump their bags while they shuffled off to class. My first serious relationship was forged at university, not that I knew it at the time because I wasn't really interested in settling down. Besides, having strict Samoan parents is enough of a deterrent, particularly when it came to dating because dating is not something practised in Samoan households. The only time you would ever think to bring someone home is when you knew that would be the person you would eventually marry.
Many days I've longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your kiss, for your touch, for your essence (your beautiful essence)
Many nights I've cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that you're real
With no doubts or no fears
Or no questions
With my friends, there were always conversations about their own expectations for what love was like. We knew about the fairytale that society sold and how partners were meant to behave in what are socially acceptable relationships, but these would always be different in each of my friend's situations. I would be privy to hearing their deep dark secrets, asking for advice about how to navigate their way. All I would ask is what they felt about themselves, how they felt about the other person. That tricky transition from something casual, from like to love, and what to do when love breaks and they fall out of love. The most interesting times of course would be when my friends talked about the changes in themselves that they didn't recognise (but that myself and others could see but pretend not to say) because they had allowed love to take over, consume everything else in their life. The hard times would come when I was the friend consoling them through heartbreaks. There is no satisfaction gained from telling a friend "I told you so" when things didn't work out.
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first
Those times when friends chose to completely abandon everything in their life in the pursuit of love, they did this so that they could hold onto love and keep it as long as possible. That tight grip I felt would always be dangerous because when you hold onto something too tightly, especially love, it might want to be free and eventually push away. Being aware of those warning signs are important to know, but might need to be learned the hard way. Have you chosen to put love first? I have done so at certain points in my life, but not as often as I should have, because now I have a list of accomplishments and achievements because I chose to sacrifice love that was there, in order to please other people I loved (my parents). Even looking back on all of that now, there are no regrets. It's just good to acknowledge what I've done so that I accept it and keep moving forward. People want me to move towards someone, I just want to move forward. Isn't that more important for someone like me? That self love is important first so that I can love again?
So many things I've got to tell you
But I'm afraid I don't know how
Cause there's a possibility
You'll look at me differently
Love
Ever since the first moment I spoke your name
From them on I knew that by you being in my life
Things were destined to change cause. . .
I was just starting to figure out who was I becoming as a young woman, in college, thinking about a career when this song surfaced on the horizon. I had girlfriends who were into neo soul and Musiq Soulchild epitomised much of the understandings of what it meant to explore love, think about how to feel love in relationships, in friendship, in any connections that were artfully expressed in song. This song was no exception. Not only the lyrics and how they were strung together appealed to me but just how the entire song was put together in the way that song compositions usually are, meticulously done with layers that help to build towards a climax that the listener would eagerly put on repeat.
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first
This song made me think about and challenge my own musings about love. All of the different types of love that I knew of, learning about them growing up in my family, with friends, with acquaintances, classmates, even strangers. The easiest understandings about love of course came from friends who would tell me about their relationship problems. I had a knack for listening to people's problems while I was tutoring at university, my office fast becoming a headquarters for friends to drop in and hang out, serving as a home base for them to dump their bags while they shuffled off to class. My first serious relationship was forged at university, not that I knew it at the time because I wasn't really interested in settling down. Besides, having strict Samoan parents is enough of a deterrent, particularly when it came to dating because dating is not something practised in Samoan households. The only time you would ever think to bring someone home is when you knew that would be the person you would eventually marry.
Many days I've longed for you
Wanting you
Hoping for the chance to get to know you
Longing for your kiss
For your kiss, for your touch, for your essence (your beautiful essence)
Many nights I've cried from the things you do
Felt like I could die from the thought of losing you
I know that you're real
With no doubts or no fears
Or no questions
With my friends, there were always conversations about their own expectations for what love was like. We knew about the fairytale that society sold and how partners were meant to behave in what are socially acceptable relationships, but these would always be different in each of my friend's situations. I would be privy to hearing their deep dark secrets, asking for advice about how to navigate their way. All I would ask is what they felt about themselves, how they felt about the other person. That tricky transition from something casual, from like to love, and what to do when love breaks and they fall out of love. The most interesting times of course would be when my friends talked about the changes in themselves that they didn't recognise (but that myself and others could see but pretend not to say) because they had allowed love to take over, consume everything else in their life. The hard times would come when I was the friend consoling them through heartbreaks. There is no satisfaction gained from telling a friend "I told you so" when things didn't work out.
Love
So many people use your name in vain
Love
Those who have faith in you sometimes go astray
Love
Through all the ups and downs the joys and hurts
Love
For better or worse I still will choose you first
Those times when friends chose to completely abandon everything in their life in the pursuit of love, they did this so that they could hold onto love and keep it as long as possible. That tight grip I felt would always be dangerous because when you hold onto something too tightly, especially love, it might want to be free and eventually push away. Being aware of those warning signs are important to know, but might need to be learned the hard way. Have you chosen to put love first? I have done so at certain points in my life, but not as often as I should have, because now I have a list of accomplishments and achievements because I chose to sacrifice love that was there, in order to please other people I loved (my parents). Even looking back on all of that now, there are no regrets. It's just good to acknowledge what I've done so that I accept it and keep moving forward. People want me to move towards someone, I just want to move forward. Isn't that more important for someone like me? That self love is important first so that I can love again?
At first you didn't mean that much to me
But now I know that you're all I need
The world looks so brand new to me
Now that I found love
Everyday I live for you
And everything that I do I do it for you
What I say is how I feel so believe it's true
You got to know I'm true love
I hope that whatever point you are in your life, whether you are secure in the love that you have with your special someone, looking for love, or trying to find the strength to leave an abusive relationship, do what makes you happy. We make the mistake of relying on someone else for our happiness like we are empty vessels that need to filled by someone else's reassurance or devotion to us. We need to figure out ways to build and cultivate our own happiness from within ourselves. I know that sounds easier said than done, but it is totally possible to achieve if you set your mind to it. If you can find it within yourself to find things to love about yourself, be your own fan and champion of your own strengths, then eventually someone will be attracted to the best version of you, the one that doesn't really need anybody else to feel complete, but in the event that you are open to receiving love from someone else, then, enjoy. Maybe one day you will see the world looks so brand new to me, now that I found love. . . .