Closing door to open more
Is not in my nature
I look at her and try my best
But I only see my failure
How do you convince someone that they are more than their failures? You can only be a cheerleader for so long before you use up all the cheer that you could've used on your own damn self. I guess there is only so much that you can do. But move yourself to the side for a minute. When we are confronted with what we feel might seem like irrational behaviour might actually be a cry for help. Do they pull away from you because they see no other options in sight? It must be hard to be around someone who believes in you and thinks you can do anything you set your mind to when you doubt yourself constantly. Don't think about her success. She isn't successful to make you feel like a failure. She never intended for you to feel that way.
Ey, these memories keep blinding me
From everything I could feel
There's many ways to move on with change
But only one way of staying still, yeah
Well, of course, if you stay still, then you never move. What memories keep blinding you from being able to move forward with your life? Sometimes you have to let yourself not get dragged down into someone's past, particularly when they have no mechanism really to be able to push past it on their own. If there are so many options left available to you, how long before those options start to dwindle? So many squandered opportunities and not being able to fight them means that you will most likely spend time trying to blame someone else. Even if you say what you need to say, it might not be enough.
You can't move on without leaving your past
But the harder I try seems the more I look back
And now nothing's changed but it's always the same
But the more that I need you, the more I push you away
Sometimes it's hard to leave your past because the past still lingers in your present. You try to emphasise so much on the here and now and then you don't know how you're supposed to be. You lose track of who you are and your dreams. Where do you want to be, what do you want to do with your life, what goals do you have? All very valid questions to be asking yourself, but until you stop looking back, then you won't know to focus on the "now" to prepare for your future. When people start to push you away, it is because they don't know how to keep you close to them without revealing their private pain. They might feel that you aren't equipped to deal with their damaged selves.
You're hellbent on saving me
I don't need savin'
Well these demon's chasing me
I can't risk you being taken
Have you ever tried saving someone who didn't want to be saved? Of course it depends on you defining what you are being saved from - yourself? Other people? Dangerous situations? Why would you think that you would be able to handle things on your own when you haven't been doing a fantastic job of it yourself? Why are the demons continuing to chase you? It's because you are still within their vicinity. You haven't figured out a way to dissuade them or repel them from your life. You may not be strong enough to deter them from being close by. How else are you supposed to deal with being shoved aside so that they can save you instead? I guess you didn't get the memo on that one.
With every no, inside I grow
Stronger and stronger
As these memories fade
Our parts have placed
Gets closer and closer ey yeah
How do you start to figure out a game plan for yourself? You can never really tell what else is out there and whether you want to be around it - or people. How can you grow stronger and stronger each day? I hope it isn't at the expense of someone else. When we draw strength from others how do we know that we aren't taking away any necessary strength that we need for ourselves? What have you decided to say no to? It can take a while to figure out how to make sense of life for yourself. Hold onto the good memories that make you feel hopeful about how special they are. Nobody can take those memories away from you, because you play them like movies in your head.
I've been keeping inside
A lock on my door
Bottle of bourbon are spread on my floor
They keep asking me why
Chasing these thoughts
I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
I hope that you are able to clean yourself and take the necessary steps to get to where you need to be. I don't know if you should put your life on hold to help so many people. If that sounds like you, cut it out (but it's something I need to tell myself constantly in the mirror too lol). I used to self medicate during my early university days. Probably after my third of fourth qualification. You start to lose your way a bit because disillusionment arrives at your doorstep far too often. So what has changed for me now? I no longer feel like I have to hurt in order to feel alive. Instead, I feel grateful for the love of those who see fit to share the love with me and understand how important my goals are. I guess I'm just smiling, turning off all the lights in the room as I leave because like it or not, I don't think I can keep this up anymore. So rather than feeling nothing at all, you should move on, because I too am just happy to be moving on . . .
Is not in my nature
I look at her and try my best
But I only see my failure
How do you convince someone that they are more than their failures? You can only be a cheerleader for so long before you use up all the cheer that you could've used on your own damn self. I guess there is only so much that you can do. But move yourself to the side for a minute. When we are confronted with what we feel might seem like irrational behaviour might actually be a cry for help. Do they pull away from you because they see no other options in sight? It must be hard to be around someone who believes in you and thinks you can do anything you set your mind to when you doubt yourself constantly. Don't think about her success. She isn't successful to make you feel like a failure. She never intended for you to feel that way.
Ey, these memories keep blinding me
From everything I could feel
There's many ways to move on with change
But only one way of staying still, yeah
Well, of course, if you stay still, then you never move. What memories keep blinding you from being able to move forward with your life? Sometimes you have to let yourself not get dragged down into someone's past, particularly when they have no mechanism really to be able to push past it on their own. If there are so many options left available to you, how long before those options start to dwindle? So many squandered opportunities and not being able to fight them means that you will most likely spend time trying to blame someone else. Even if you say what you need to say, it might not be enough.
You can't move on without leaving your past
But the harder I try seems the more I look back
And now nothing's changed but it's always the same
But the more that I need you, the more I push you away
Sometimes it's hard to leave your past because the past still lingers in your present. You try to emphasise so much on the here and now and then you don't know how you're supposed to be. You lose track of who you are and your dreams. Where do you want to be, what do you want to do with your life, what goals do you have? All very valid questions to be asking yourself, but until you stop looking back, then you won't know to focus on the "now" to prepare for your future. When people start to push you away, it is because they don't know how to keep you close to them without revealing their private pain. They might feel that you aren't equipped to deal with their damaged selves.
You're hellbent on saving me
I don't need savin'
Well these demon's chasing me
I can't risk you being taken
Have you ever tried saving someone who didn't want to be saved? Of course it depends on you defining what you are being saved from - yourself? Other people? Dangerous situations? Why would you think that you would be able to handle things on your own when you haven't been doing a fantastic job of it yourself? Why are the demons continuing to chase you? It's because you are still within their vicinity. You haven't figured out a way to dissuade them or repel them from your life. You may not be strong enough to deter them from being close by. How else are you supposed to deal with being shoved aside so that they can save you instead? I guess you didn't get the memo on that one.
With every no, inside I grow
Stronger and stronger
As these memories fade
Our parts have placed
Gets closer and closer ey yeah
How do you start to figure out a game plan for yourself? You can never really tell what else is out there and whether you want to be around it - or people. How can you grow stronger and stronger each day? I hope it isn't at the expense of someone else. When we draw strength from others how do we know that we aren't taking away any necessary strength that we need for ourselves? What have you decided to say no to? It can take a while to figure out how to make sense of life for yourself. Hold onto the good memories that make you feel hopeful about how special they are. Nobody can take those memories away from you, because you play them like movies in your head.
I've been keeping inside
A lock on my door
Bottle of bourbon are spread on my floor
They keep asking me why
Chasing these thoughts
I'd rather feel pain than nothing at all
I hope that you are able to clean yourself and take the necessary steps to get to where you need to be. I don't know if you should put your life on hold to help so many people. If that sounds like you, cut it out (but it's something I need to tell myself constantly in the mirror too lol). I used to self medicate during my early university days. Probably after my third of fourth qualification. You start to lose your way a bit because disillusionment arrives at your doorstep far too often. So what has changed for me now? I no longer feel like I have to hurt in order to feel alive. Instead, I feel grateful for the love of those who see fit to share the love with me and understand how important my goals are. I guess I'm just smiling, turning off all the lights in the room as I leave because like it or not, I don't think I can keep this up anymore. So rather than feeling nothing at all, you should move on, because I too am just happy to be moving on . . .