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Refuse. . .

I'm okay alone
It makes my soul stir
Under microscopes
Keep my head in the dirt

I've always had a strong affinity for singer songwriters.  I came across this track while watching the movie Dude starring my new favourite quartet of friends Lucy Hale, Kathryn Prescott, Alexandra Shipp and Awkwafina.  There is another song from the film that I was intrigued with, but I'll talk about that in another future blog post.  The idea that is constant in the film is being able to spend time with friends because you won't have them for long - and there are a few incidents that happen in the film that bring about trauma on so many different levels for its band of female sheroes.  What makes your soul stir?  Is it something that people will never be able to see?  We don't usually require an audience.  Especially if we are alone too.  Who is keeping you under the microscope?  Who wants to keep your head in the dirt?  We never really know or want to know.  Take a closer look.

Slow crash
Stumble over nothing on my own path
Runaway, I am just a nomad
No one ever wanted me to go back
I know I am anything but uncouth
People try to change me since my youth
But I refuse

That slow crash is like watching an inevitable disaster.  There will be moments in your life where you see things like that coming a mile away and you are helpless to stop it.  Being able to prevent things that you have no control over is futile.  When you stumble over things that don't exist, that says more about your gait and imaging obstacles that don't exist.  When you choose to obsess over details that don't yet make themselves known or have yet to be manifested, it steals time and energy that you could better spend on what you can control, what you can contribute to, what you can do to make your life the best that you possibly can.  What other places or people are you trying to run away from?  When we become nomads in our mind, that might be the only places we can travel to that take us further away than any physical journey ever could.  Would you travel alone?  Do you have a choice?


Far away from home
Forgot my address
Mind is still on loan
Keeps me prepossessed

Where is home these days?  That place that you can go to and lay your hat, take off all the burdens that you carry with you everywhere, sight unseen, because people don't really see you, don't really know what you are carrying around with you these days.  Where is home these days?  That place that people assume is filled with warmth and is a sanctuary from the troubles that you seek to escape, but could possibly be the source of all your problems.  Yes it might be convenient to forget your address and I'm reminded of every man in the 1950s that might have left their home to grab a packet of cigarettes and left with the clothes on their back and set up a completely new life only 11 miles away, according to Dave Chappelle.  What is your mind thinking about these days?  What does it keep prepossessed in your mind?  If you have no physical space that is home to you these days, you might be better off relying on your heart to show you.


Slow crash
Stumble over nothing on my own path
Runaway, I am just a nomad
No one ever wanted me to go back
I know I am anything but uncouth
People try to change me since my youth
But I refuse
I refuse

I hope that even when people don't want you to go back, that you have options to do whatever else you set your mind to.  There are opportunities out there for you to seek people and things that fulfil your greater purpose.  Granted it might feel like there isn't anything or anyone out there, but you just need to trust that whoever and whatever needs to find their way to you, will soon feel an unflinching and compelling needs to make themselves known.  When people try to change you, try to change what happens around you and it doesn't fit what is in the best interest of you, or in the best interests of what you can achieve, then you have the power to change that for yourself.  There is only so much that you should be willing to take, so much that you are willing to accept.  You just need to keep yourself in check and listen to that tiny voice that you hear from within yourself.  You have the power to say, you know what, I refuse. . . 

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