Skip to main content

Mirror. . . .

Bitter hearts don't hold a smile
Troubled minds will wear you down
Use your past to get ahead
Hold your tears and think instead
You have to find a way to make it
These clouds are letting up for a while 

What have you learned from your past?  Are you still attracted to the same type of people who are designed to break your heart?  Why do you make the same mistakes - love too hard, love not enough, love just enough - but even then there is always some flaw, some crack in the ship of relations that you never anticipated.  There is a responsibility that we need to own up to - the way that we act, speak and interact in a relationship.  We are not responsible for how others act, speak and interact with us.  If we make other people mad, they can choose whether to respond in kind,  Do you have a bitter heart that doesn't smile anymore? Have you forgotten to smile?  I wonder if your troubled mind is going to continue along this same road to self-destruction?  When will you stop punishing yourself?  It is no longer acceptable to be sad and cry about or over someone who doesn't appreciate you.  Look to the sky and note that the clouds are parting.  There is sunshine due if you want it.

Sometimes you gotta make the mirror your best friend
Maybe then, you'll find some peace within
Stop hiding yourself, stop hiding yourself
Love yourself
When no one else can

Looking at yourself in the mirror can be hard.  I mean the real stop, look and take in every single part of your face.  We probably only look at ourselves long enough to do our usual remonstrations, our usual daily routine of brushing our teeth, applying moisturising cream, makeup or checking for blemishes that we want to diminish.  If we were comfortable enough in our skins, we could gaze upon our faces for long enough, as long as the other person who finds us fascinating does when they think we don't catch them looking.  We hide because we are afraid of being loved?  Maybe we hide because we don't want to be noticed?  Do we think that we are that unloveable that we must hide in order to be invisible and not be seen in any kind of light?  To find the peace within we must look in the mirror to see ourselves for who we truly are.  I've lost count of how many times I have held up mirrors to people to see and realise their own potential, even when I've been afraid to see myself.

Now you know the remedy
Tell yourself you will achieve
Just go on and brush your shoulders off
This bridge is one that you must cross
You have to find a way to make it
These clouds are letting up for a while

The harmonies kick in during this verse and it makes me think about how you can make the harmonies kick in for yourself, how things start to make sense, start to make some solid sense like sweet harmony does in a song.  When you start to believe in yourself and the love that you should be giving to yourself and discovering for yourself, then everything else will fall into place in your life - even coming across someone who will look to you for you, someone who will eventually love you like you deserve to be loved.  I have too many friends who have looked to relationships to be fulfilled, to have a sense of worth.  You should never look for happiness in the arms of another.  You should be happy with yourself enough so that you can share your happiness in life, with someone else's happiness - should you choose to of course.  Someone telling me that I make them happy - that should set some alarm bells off in your head.  You are not responsible for someone else's happiness.


If you love yourself, you don't need nobody else 
(Don't need nobody else)
No one can love you like you
If you look inside (look inside)
You'll find where your strength resides
No one can love you like you

It is true that you don't need nobody else if you love yourself.  I think it's just nice to be able to share the love with someone who is just as equally going through a time of learning to love themselves too.  It's nice to be able to share that together.  I had dinner with a couple of women tonight that I had only met this weekend while I'm on my writing retreat.  One I met on Friday when I arrived here.  The other I just met tonight, a friend of the Friday friend.  There was a moment where the course of the conversation naturally leads to talking of relationships.  So I had to explain that I was a widow.  That I had been one for the past 5 years.  Then the next question loomed - am I seeing someone?  Am I ready to be in a relationship?  I said that I wasn't really looking for someone, but that I was seeing someone.  It's early days.  The good thing so far is that this person isn't a needy person, but lets me do what I need to do, to complete my work, focus on my priorities, even if it means not really seeing each other at all. 

Sometimes you gotta make the mirror your best friend
Maybe then, you'll find some peace within
Stop hiding yourself, stop hiding yourself
Love yourself
When no one else can

Have you made your mirror your best friend?  It might be difficult to take a long hard look at yourself in the mirror?  We might be in a state of denial about what we see.  We might believe what people say about us and end up seeing it in the mirror, but should you agree with it?   If things have been said, and you are trying to figure out what is going to happen, then it might take some time to establish how you feel about yourself, your situation and the people that are involved.  I know people who have best friends but then they don't end up really telling them about what's going on in their world. Instead, they would rather confide in complete strangers because they don't belong to their connected circle and it's easier to do that.  I still think about my early college days and how that was the case for me.       

Stop hiding yourself, stop hiding yourself
Love yourself
When no one else can

I hope that you will eventually find the strength to no longer hide yourself.  When have the courage to stand firm, stand tall, well just to stand basically, we find that we have the capacity to do more than we ever dreamed, the capability to show more of who we are without feeling less than we are.  I hope that you find opportunities to celebrate who you are.  But I guess that can only happen if you take a chance on yourself if you can really truly start to understand what makes you beautiful both inside and out. Sometimes we will be disappointed with how people love us.  We are fooled into believing that being loved means that there are specific or particular ways that we want to be loved.  We should never feel like we have to compromise or change who we are to please someone else.  That's not the point of being in a relationship.  If you cannot be yourself when you are with someone else, then you are better off stepping back and having another long hard look in the mirror. . . . .  

Popular posts from this blog

To be loved by you. . .

To be loved by you is like a breeze Like the summer rain falling through the trees Like the waves that's crashing on the seas, it's easy To be loved by you is like a song Playing in your head you can dance along Like running away with the dawn, it's easy Like flowers bloom, Like my love for you It's been a long time between blog posts. So much has happened since I last reflected about life around me through music. If you have read my blog posts before, then you would know that you are meant to play the YouTube clip (see below) while you read.  I stumbled across this new song that was released today. It's Anzac Day in Aotearoa New Zealand so it's also an opportune time to reflect on the service of our countrymen for peace in previous wars. There is something oddly familiar and comforting about this melody, this song. The whole vibe drew me in and I've always been a huge Emily King fan. Are you currently with someone who helps you feel this way? What is it lik...

Uso song. . .

Sau loa oe, e nofo mai i o'u tafatafa You come now, to sit beside me O le amataga, o si ta mafutaga The beginning, of our relationship O le lumanai o lo'o saunia mai The future that is being prepared  Mo tatou uma e vaai For all of us to see Ou te lē iloa po'o ā ni ou lagona pe a e faalogo i le pese lenei.  Sa faamanatu mai e seisi uo sa ma ola tuputupu a'e faatasi i totonu o le Ekalesia lenei pese.  O se pese sa iloa lelei lava e ia ma sa ou faapea e ese le mālie o le fati o le pese ae o upu fo'i ia, e faamatala mai ai ni mafaufauga o si alii pese ma nisi fo'i o ana ia uso ma le latou va.  E mafai ona e manatua le amataga o si mafutaga ma ou uso?  A ou mafaufau i lo'u to'alua sa oti i le tausaga 2013, ua valavala nei ma ona uso, vaganā lona uso matua sa tau mulimuli atu ia te ia i tausaga e lua i le maliu foi ma le oti.  E lē iloa lava e tatou po o ā foi se lumana'i o lo'o saunia mo i tatou.  Afai e te le o mautinoa po o ā ni fuafuaga o lo...

Masterpiece (Mona Lisa). . .

My eyes ain't used to these rays I'm feeling exposed but I hide no more I can't hide As the sun shines on all of my glory My flaws don't look so bad at all What was I so afraid of? No matter how hard you try to hide, or try to be inconspicuous, it doesn't make a damn bit of difference. Trying to be lowkey when you are on high profile horizons is ridiculous. When your skills, gifts and talents thrust you into the spotlight, you know that you have a responsibility to do your best at all times, because it is no longer about you - it is about who you represent. You might be afraid that your failures and trauma, including your human flaws will all be on display for the world to see - but who has not lived an imperfect life? Why are we afraid of being exposed? Society teaches us to conform and be uniform. Sometimes all we need to do is insist on being comfortable with all our decisions, no matter where they lead us or where we were placed - because our flaws aren't as...