Oh yeah, crazy how right out of the blue
I bumped into you today
And I forgot the reasons why
Why I went away?
You never quite know how to deal with a situation, especially when you run into an old flame. You're not quite sure if you are able to be civil and reconnect in an appropriate way. For the most part you could find things difficult because of the current environment you are in and friends make things difficult. Regardless of them trying to figure out how you are feeling, they are intent on doing other things instead that cause you to question whether they are emotionally mature to handle you having space or just being able to be yourself in that situation. Instead they try to make themselves part of the narrative that is not actually theirs to tell.
Funny how fate opens the door
And destiny walks in
The only thing that I know for sure
Exactly how long it's been
It would stand to reason that if you never crossed paths again it would be too soon. How does fate play a part in opening that door? You could have someone who knows full well that the old flame frequents your own haunts and why of all places would you not be surprised to see them surface again? The old flame tries so hard to make you notice them and make you rekindle the flame that they hold in their hands for you. Why should you consider taking that trip down memory lane. You stand close to the old flame and realise why that warmth is different. You also realise that you cannot afford to be sucked back into that space again. You escaped that place for a reason. So instead you choose this opportunity to show the friend that she has no reason to be feeling a certain type of way. You never replaced her with the old flame during that point in time. Surely she should've seen then that you needed someone who offered attention and comfort that she was not in a space to give.
'Cause baby it's been so long
Since I had you here with me
Baby it's been so long
Baby come to me
The old flame suddenly feels compelled to spill his guts out all over the place. Isn't it funny that the very thing that you craved during a relationship, all of a sudden comes spilling out, of their own volition, without any prompting from you. Certain things start to make sense and you no longer need to find out the reasons why you were frustrated with the old flame. You are no longer concerned about the reasons why they could not offer what they thought they could, that they were in no shape or form able to offer you anything, the slightest hint or whiff of something that you were grasping at straws to hold. None of that was real. None of that was genuine. Well. that's a bit a harsh. Maybe it was real and genuine. But you no longer see them as being acceptable. They are no longer real and genuine in the authenticity that you are living right now. Those notions of love or care, whatever that was, does not stack up to your own self expectations. It's been so long for a reason. Does he need to be reminded why?
Do you ever think of us?
And the way it used to be
Late at night I long for your touch
All the things you do to me
IF I had a dollar for every time someone asked me if I thought of them, what am I thinking, do I think about what we had - I would be able to retire comfortably right now. There is something to be said about someone asking if the thought of you is what occupies their minds. I don't even know what way we used to be. Things weren't clear cut. Things weren't what people would consider normal. Things are always much clearer in the darkness. You are fooled into thinking that only the light and what it touches make things clear. But I disagree. There is a lot to be said for being able to rely on your senses and to train your mind to see in the darkness. If people long for your touch, why should you entertain them and give in? They should've realised how much your touch meant to them, how much your touch was all it took.
They say it's just like riding a bike
Some thing you should never forget
You know all the things I like
Let's see how much harder it gets
Do you want to take them back? Have you forgotten all of the times that they hurt you, abused you, misused you and played on all of the good things that are deep within you, that you kept protected in case you met people like this who would only take it all away for themselves? You might ask yourself such questions if you are willing to be critically self aware and see just how much of this is projection of yourself onto others, or if you are willing to admit that you keep playing victim in all of your relationships. Build a ship with someone who wants to do all of the sailing with you, who wants to be at your side, be your best mate, your first mate and is willing to sail through the rough seas with you, and not just the good times. Never think of yourself as being less than your desired half. You are not in competition with each other. This is most of the time, what men need to remember when they want to be with a strong woman - you are there to complement her, not compete with her. Have the good sense to know what your own dreams and goals are so that she knows that you will not enter into the relationship trying to squash them from happening.
They're playing our song
Oh baby now, it might be wrong
Oh baby now, I hope that this night don't end
Oh baby, it might be right
Oh baby now, right here tonight
Oh baby now, what do you say?
Can you stay?
I hope that you find a new song with someone to create more memories, to bring good love into your life. It's been so long since I had considered being ready for a relationship. I think I have spent the most of this time hiding from myself and my true emotions. I let myself believe that I couldn't have the things I had always dreamed of and always wanted. I never really allowed myself to have the things that I thought were out of my reach, because I had to put all of that on hold to please everyone except myself. All I could do was snatch moments for myself and make do with what moments they were, with people who were in just as much pain as me, but with their own problems. Despite all of the challenges and the ways in which society continues to project what they perceive my happiness should look like, I am much clearer these days about what it takes to be happy. I choose it. In an instant. And I watch it grow in completely new and different directions. So rather than scaring myself with the unknown, I just smile and embrace it. That's all I can do really. Just take it all in, because it's been a long time coming and now that the time has arrived, I can see that time is irrelevant. One man's lifetime is another man's day. All I can do is continue to smile. However and no matter who I'm with or not, my time is now, it's just been so long. . . .