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Just let it go. . .

You've been through so much
So many ups and downs
You've given your love
But never like the way it turned out
You closed off your heart 
And you carried the weight
Like a million rocks on your shoulders
But you don't have to wait for an apology
Or for someone else to make amends
When you can remember
That your healing is in your hands

You go through life with expectations, From yourself and from others. When things do not go as you planned, you look for people or circumstances to blame. But you know what? I can tell you that what may seem like some kind of sloppy arrival at a destination you never dreamed of being in - is exactly the right place where you are meant to be. You will come to a realisation where you stop blaming all the bad things that happen on your life on anything, everything anyone and everyone.  Just trust that you are being lead to what feels like darkness right now, so that you recognise your own lifht once it is time to shine. When you have been hurt in love, continue to love. You do not gauge your bad experience of love on one ridiculous person who did not have the capacity to hold your heart in their hands. I mean think about it. They probably don't even know what to do with theirs, let alone know how to take care of yours. We do not communicate as effectively as we can as human beings. 

Just let it go, inch by inch
Just let it go, and do it again
Just let it go, one day you'll see
Just let it go, you set yourself free

We talk past each other and we don't listen. We assume a lot of things and we learn nothing. Is it any wonder that we just end arguments with let's just agree to disagree.  It's not actually about the disagreement. But learning to value other people's insights and perspectives that are different to yours. How many more ups and downs are you willing to go through? Either stop the ride and get off, or go another round just to make sure. Maybe you're even becoming immune to the constant state of fluctuation. That would explain it. Have you learned to start letting go?  We might want to have control over things we have no business controlling - because that's called free will and you can't dictate how people react or feel towards you. Just trust that they will arrive at the best conclusion about you and what you stand for. If they don't, they just never really understood you to start with.  

You've been used 
You've been abused
Someone came along
Who didn't value you
You carried the weight
Like a million rocks on your shoulders
But you don't have to wait for an apology
Or for someone else to make amends
When you can remember
That your healing is in your hands

Friends. They mean well and try to say the nicest things to help you feel better about your situation, your life. They think they need to fill the void or the silence with some profound words. Actually, no. You don't need to say a word. People will use you and abuse you, name drop you and hope that you will return the favour someday - but guess what. It doesn't work that way. Because at the end of the day they will only be too worried about their own pathway in life and forget all the times that you helped to prop them up. These are not the thoughts or inner meanderings of a bitter woman. No, not at all. You need to state facts and be able to articulate the inequities - not just in life generally - but just in how others use and abuse you, take you for granted or assume that your voice is not worth listening to. It's time to unpack those millions of rocks on your shoulders and start throwing them back at people who seek to drown your voice,smother your voice and prey on you to be silent. People forget. They don't know where you come from. They don't know who your ancestors. That you are descended from warriors and scholars who didn't need to conform. 


Just let it go, inch by inch
Just let it go, and do it again
Just let it go, one day you'll see
Just let it go, you set yourself free

Letting something go is hard. Traumatic even. But trust me on this. Once you let go of something, another thing comes along, much better than what you were holding onto. You forget that there are always brighter things in store for you, things beyond your wildest dreams and imagination, because your tiny, small, minute human mind has limited capacity to understand the unfathomable. So how do you know how to let go inch by inch? Just like the ripping off of a band aid, we are taught to do so quickly and in one fell swoop. But sometimes, you have to experience the pain of tugging away at it one inch at a time to make sure that you leave as little damage to yourself as possible. Soon you learn to heal quickly, that your resilience goes through the roof each time you are squashed to the ground. You wallow in your self pity a little less than usual and that's because you have started to develop perspective. You learn that there are other people in the world who are far worse off than you, do not have the freedom of movement that you enjoy and so you learn to make the most of situations. 

Gave it your all
You put your blinders on
When you looked around
All of your friends were gone
You took the fall
And you carried the weight
Like a million rocks on your shoulders

Friends stay when their strength matches yours. Friends stay when they know that they don't need to actually do anything - just be there.  How many times have you held space for someone so that they knew that you could be contacted at anytime of day, in case of an emergency?  I'm the security blanket for a lot of friends. And this is something that I don't mind.  I used to think of things quite plainly as either a blessing or a burden - but I know now that blessings always come with burdens - because that's how you learn to appreciate the suffering and sacrifice that it took to get to those blessings.  I am learning to be eternally grateful for all the challenges and negative experiences in my life. Those are the times that Satan tested my humanity and was relying on me never to lean on God for any support.  Satan is a fool, always has been. He doesn't understand that your faith is the biggest weapon at your disposal.

Just let it go, inch by inch
Just let it go, and do it again
Just let ig go, one day you'll see
Just let it go, you've set yourself free
Just let it go, and set yourself free
Just let it go, and set yourself free
Just let it go, and set yourself free

I hope that you start to let go of things that are holding you back in life. Start letting go of relationships that don't work and take away your happiness because you're working so hard to keep things together while your partner makes not one ounce of effort. Learn to know what you are willing and unwilling to accept. What are you prepared to do in order to set yourself free? We think that complete freedom is possible in this realm. It totally isn't. That's a utopia I cannot wait to experience when I've left this earthly plane. I just know that I would not want to use or abuse people the way that I have been, if it means that their success comes at my expense. Who does that? Easy. Lots of people. But we need to learn how to process these negative feelings in a healthy and just let it go. . . 

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