Saving grace. . .

I've still got a lot to learn
But at least I know where I can turn
When I'm in my times of need
Just as long (as I know all things are possible)
Just as long as I believe

When you think you know everything there is to know, you don't know anything at all. It can be difficult to come to that realisation, because you will have to learn it the hard way. When have you lost confidence in yourself? Where have you been able to turn to get support in your times of need? We must never lose sight of what is possible, especially when we can never see an end in sight. When we lose faith in ourselves, in humanity, what do we have left? We need to keep believing that good things will come our way, that the right people will be installed into our lives for the better, that we learn to master our weaknesses by transforming them into strengths. What will it take for you to believe again?

I've loved a lot, hurt a lot
Been burned a lot in my life and times
Spent precious years wrapped up in fear
With no end in sight 
Until my saving grace shined on me
Until my saving grace set me free

Loving and hurting almost seem to go hand in hand. You become either conscious of being on the receiving end or giving it to others. How many times have you been burned in your life? I think if I kept track of how many times I've been burned. I should have been a candidate for spontaneous human combustion. Why do we spend so many years living in fear? There is no more time left for negative self talk. We like to think that we can rise above it all on our own, but we actually need to just be upfront and confess it all. We are not perfect. We make mistakes. How will you let your saving grace shine on you?

Giving me peace
Giving me strength when I'd
Almost lost it all
Catching my every fall
I still exist because you keep me safe
I found my saving grace within you

You might wonder to yourself why is life such a rollercoaster? Why do we have to go through such turmoil and trauma sometimes? How are we meant to craft this kind of resilience, that we have never had to develop and hone before? You have probably lost count of how many times you have fallen. Does there need to be a limit? So many questions. I often wonder whether the questions will ever stop. All we need to remember is that we can find solace and comfort in being safe, trusting in our faith in Him. When I forget to do that, I get quick reminders about what isn't going well and what I need to do.

Yes I've been bruised
Grew up confused 
Been destitute
I've seen life from many sides
Been stigmatized 
Been black and white
Felt inferior inside
Until my saving grace shined on me
Until my saving grace set me free

Revisiting pain or even just trying to heal from bruises that are sticking around longer than you thought it would, is something that says a lot about your body's ability to recuperate and recover. Do we even have enough rest to be able to reset ourselves. Do you let your multiple perspectives cover all the angles of your predicaments? Maybe we don't do enough of this for ourselves, to cover off all of the checks and balances that allow us to have the peace of mind that we are seeking. Facing what we need to and just being able to ride things out, totally depends on how we react to situations and how quickly.

And the bountiful things that you do

Lord thank you
For delivering me

I cannot begin to describe how gracious God has been to me. All of the negative experiences that happened, were all meant to happen. It is easy to blame God for bad things happening, but that's what Satan is really clever at doing - but not today Satan! I would not be half the woman I am today without having gone through all those experiences. Maybe these will be tales that I will save for a memoir one day (as such tales could easily fill a book). If I ever stumble and feel tempted to slide into negative self talk, all I need to remember is all of the blessing that God continues to bestow - both great and small. I think the greatest lessons I have learned have been to appreciate the smallest things He has done for me - because I appreciate that He notices me and shows me ways to keep my faith in Him and in His mission for me.

And giving me peace

Giving me strength
Giving me hope when I'd
Almost lost it all
Catching my every fall
I still exist because you keep me safe
Always my saving grace
Pulls me through
I found my saving grace within you
Within you
(Only, only you)
Yes Lord
(Only you)
My saving grace Lord is
You

At times I will forget that I have been saved. So many times. Countless times. Even when I have been at my lowest point, and there have been multiple times, I have always managed to bounce back. God provides me with these experiences to learn that suffering teaches me to build character, to be grateful for all of the good times that come my way, and to be appreciative of key people - both good and bad - who have been fundamentally responsible for shaping the situations you find yourself in - whether you can cope with it or not. I now know that I can be broken, tired, humiliated or disappointed but these are only passing and fleeting emotions that you should not carry forward. I am just going to continue to believe that I will always have saving grace. . .