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Human. . .

I can hold my breath
I can bite my tongue
I can stay awake for days
If that's what you want
Be your number one
I can fake a smile
I can fake a laugh
I can dance and play the part
If that's what you ask
Give you all I am

I can do it
I can do it
I can do it

It's really hard to be yourself sometimes.  You find that you play a role for people because that's all they are comfortable with seeing from you or that was only one small part of yourself that you were prepared to share.  Imagine it though, if you completely shared everything, there wouldn't be anything left for yourself to hold precious and dear.  People insist on you being completely honest, but when you are, they cannot take it or cannot deal with it.  Why do you persist in making their lives easier, their lives more comfortable?  Is this what you have carved for yourself in their world?  Will this be the only space that you occupy?  When you can no longer be genuine or real for fear of offending them or having them question whether you are criticising them when they are not your intentions - nobody wins.  Are you prepared to give all you can when you know that you shouldn't?

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down 
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human,  yeah

I can turn it on
Be a good machine
I can hold the weight of worlds
If that's what you need
Be your everything

Do you get asked questions about things that you don't want to talk about?  Do you have things being said to you that makes you question - did I ask for that?  Why is this happening?  We hold onto the painful words that people say because we think that we need to be punished for making them feel bad about situations that they actually feel bad about for themselves - such as the position of transference.  You can be nice and kind and hold your tongue, hold back from what you really want to say because you have weighed up your options and realised that there is no need for it.  Has anybody said nice and kind things to you, only to take them back when you confront them unintentionally with their own insecurities?  We all know that we are not perfect.  We are not always right.  But people will say that you think you're perfect.  That you think you're always right.  When you never said you were perfect or said you were always right.  How much longer can you hold the weight of the worlds that you carry - to be both the support network and the punching bag for someone who should be holding their own world together, while you are trying to keep yours, your loved ones, and theirs with the same set of shoulders?


I can do it
I can do it
I'll get through it

I'm only human
I'm only human
Just a little human

What do you say to yourself to ensure that you can make it through the day?  You repeat little mantras to yourself over and over until that extrinsic motivation becomes intrinsic.  You have become this reluctant role model that you never signed up to be because you have been able to navigate your way through pathways that people like you are never meant to surpass or supersede.  The thing is, people may never understand what you do and how you go about doing things in your own way.  You are just intent on doing your best and even if you feel like you can't carry on anymore, you just know that there is too much at stake for you to back down now, there is too much at stake for you to flush it all away, even though that would be the easiest thing in the world to be able to do.  There will always be more people who are waiting to see you fail, rather than succeed.  Will you give them the satisfaction of seeing your humanity in a negative light?

I can take so much
Until I've had enough

But I'm only human
And I bleed when I fall down
I'm only human
And I crash and I break down 
Your words in my head, knives in my heart
You build me up and then I fall apart
'Cause I'm only human,  yeah

I hope that you learn to disassociate yourself from the circus, the theme park whatever issues that people choose to place on you that you didn't initiate.  We need to learn not to view our humanity as an excuse to fail but to recognise that there will be times when we want to give up and throw it all away, but it is our very humanity that stops us from doing so.  There are other people, whether they know it or not, who are counting on you to be able to deliver the dreams and goals that you have set for yourself.  There are people who aren't even born yet who are relying on you to be the sole pioneer, the sole survivor, just to be the only person in your space that believes to the very depths of their soul that no matter what comes your way, that you can do it.  You can do whatever you need to do in order for other humans around you to see that even when you bled, fell down, crashed and broke down, that in spite of all that - you may be human, but you can see that because I believe, all we ever really need to be is real, honest, genuine within ourselves and with each other.  We just need to embrace being just a little human. . . 

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