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The pieces don't fit anymore. . .

I've been twisting and turning
In a space that's too small
I've been drawing the line and watching it fall
You've been closing me in, closing the space in my heart
Watching us fading and watching it fall apart

You have to wonder how you got yourself into that small crevice of a space in the first place!  We never really take notice of our surroundings until it drastically changes around us and we become restricted in our movements.  Why weren't you paying attention?  Were you hoping that things would change, that conversations would eventually lead to somewhere that made sense to you?  Has your patience been rewarded?  Where do we learn to draw the line when we are constantly disappointed?  What if someone else is closing you in?  Can you get around them?  Avoid being pushed into a corner?  Will they eventually know when to start giving you space?  The connection may start to show some wear and tear and you may soon start to see things unravel before your very eyes.

Well I can't explain why it's not enough, cause I gave it all to you
And if you leave me now, oh just leave me now
It's the better thing to do
It's time to surrender
It's been too long pretending 
There's no use in trying
When the pieces don't fit anymore, the pieces don't fit here anymore

What is enough?  How do you know how much love is important? Is it a question of self-respect?  Are you willing to be treated like a punching bag because you think that's what you need to withstand because the other person is already broken, so why would you add to their brokenness?  So you just give all of yourself, give more than enough for them, but leave so little for you that you don't put in what you need for your own life, your own dreams and goals.  You neglect those dreams and goals so that you help to rebuild their lives and bring things back to some semblance of functionality.  But why pretend anymore?  With all of the pretending that you have been doing, that your life is ok when in reality it is waiting to implode, when will you stop?  This is why the pieces don't fit anymore.  You keep trying to force shapes to fit in the jigsaw puzzle that doesn't belong there.



You pulled me under
I had to give in
Such a beautiful myth
That's breaking my skin
Well I'll hide all the bruises
I'll hide all the damage that's done
But I show how I'm feeling until all the feeling has gone

The honeymoon phase is over.  Have you kept track of the bruises you've sustained through this connection?  Will you wait in the corner for your wounds to heal or head back in for another round?  Why do we subject ourselves to be punished in this way?  Being a martyr only works if you become one for a worthy cause - are they worth dying over?  The answer should be pretty simple. Nobody ever is, unless you're Jesus, because that's what you were born to do.  But what are you meant to be doing?  What beautiful myth did they think you were going to be?  Someone that needed to conform to the ways that they are able to control, monitor and dictate.  No wonder we let ourselves get pulled under.  Have a think about how you are really feeling and if you need to, let it run its course.

Oh don't misunderstand
How I feel
Cause I've tried, yes I've tried
But I still don't know why, no I don't know why
I don't know why, why!

I hope that you understand and know your worth.  Too often we conform and shape ourselves to fit into someone's world, like a neat tidy convenient package.  Why do we do this?  Why do we slot ourselves neatly into their lives in that way?  Relationships are meant to be about disrupting each other's lives completely so that you find ways to make it work.  I tried that once.  And now I've lost him, he died.  Would I be able to do that again?  I don't know.  There is always the fear that things never work out, and that's just what you do when you take a chance on love and follow your heart.  Follow your heart.  That's such an overused statement.  How can you follow your heart if you can't do what your heart has always longed to do but can't follow through?  Your life has too many obligations and expectations that are not even your own.  I guess this is why it wouldn't matter who turned up knocking on your door, you would always be thinking in the back of your mind, given time, you would be anticipating when the pieces don't fit anymore. . . 

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